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| We have been out of town since Saturday morning, and first went to my aunt's house, which is located in Bethsada, Maryland which is right outside of DC. We stayed the night there, and were going to leave to go to Sidney, New York the next day, which is where my grandma lives, along with my mom's brother. However, early that morning we were informed that my grandma was taken to the hospital because she couldn't breathe. She has been fighting with emphemza for the past 10 years due to the fact that she had smoked pretty much most of her life. Later that day, she took a turn for the worse, and now is basically living on a breathing machine, and is in critical condition. It would be great if you could keep her in your prayers, she has been basically gradually dying over the past couple of years, but the main thing is that she is not a Christian, my mom has been at her bedside the last 2 days, and was at her bedside for over 12 hours yesterday being with her and sharing God's love with her. We are praying for a miracle and believe that God can do amazing things, so if you can keep her in your prayers that would be awesome. Unfortunally, my brothers and I probably won't get the opportunity to see her because she doesn't want us to see her like how she is presently. Just pray that God's love will be shown through my mom. Thanks again. God Bless | | |
| This week.. Well another crazy week to say the least.. My senior paper, which had to be a literary analysis on book which we selected, I wrote my paper on The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset Maugham, to my surprise it was actually a pretty interesting book and I enjoyed it. However..the paper wasn't so great..it ended up being 11 pages..but man, it took forever, and was up till at least 2 on three nights, so yeah...when I'm sleep deprived I'm not in the greatest of moods. But man, high school is coming to a close, that paper basically seals my senior year and was the last "big thing" I had to get done. Honestly, I am so sick of school right now, I mean I love high school, and have met some great people and awesome teachers..but idk the senioritis is kicking in and I just want a change in scenary or just a new challenge in life. But I'm still not ready for college though, I'm scared like crazy just cuz I'm going to be responsible for me, I'm not going to have my mom telling me to get the dirty clothes in the hamper, or put away dishes, clean my room, or just whatever..I'm pretty scared though, but hopefully by the end of summer I'll be ready. As of right now, I am so ready for summer..I just wish that summer was a year long, cuz thats just what I need right now. And I'm pretty excited about the financial aid we just got at UNCC, its about $7000 which is pretty awesome. It looks like I'm going to be headed there next year too, I'm just hoping God wants me to go there, but with the news of this aid it looks like thats the case. I am really looking forward to getting involved in campus ministries, cuz man thats when you know how real people's faith is. I mean cmon, at college you got everything there, no parents, parties, everything..but people who get involved with campus ministries they are saying that God is more important than the parties, the girls, the whatever,..I'm really stoked about that and seeing how God is going to impact a college is just an awesome thought for me. Tonight, my family and I watched The Passion of the Christ, we watch it every year on Good Friday. This year, it felt different though, I just saw the horrific pain that Jesus had to go through, but this year I paid attention to the guy who was forced to help Jesus take the cross. This scene stuck out to me more than any part of the movie this year for some reason, I just thought it was amazing to see the conformation in this guy's heart during this scene. When he was forced, he calls Jesus "a criminal" and is clearly ticked off that he has to do this unwillingly, however they crawl up the path and then Jesus falls down and the Roman soldiers start completely beating the life outta Him, and spitting all over him, and this guy, I think he name is Peter but is standing on the wall, exhausted from carrying this cross watching all of this occur. He sees the love, perfection, innocence that Jesus has, and takes on like 10 Roman soldiers by himself and screams at the top of his lungs "Stop, enough!". Idk, it just stuck out to me because Jesus said no words to him, but just seeing the perfection of this man completely changed his outlook on Him, and he was willingly to get beat up, or even killed for sticking up for a man who was convicted of blasphemy. Everytime I watch this movie, I get something new from it that God puts on my heart. This movie also spoke to me as a remainder to remember the suffering and pain He went through for me, its just unreal to think of how much He went through. I also needed a remainder cuz I felt like I had so much crap going on from senior papers, to making web pages for E-Com, to work, to pointless drama, to whatever..remembering what Jesus on this day 2000 years ago made everything else that I held at such a higher priority seem so unimportant. | | |
| this has definately been the worst week in a longg time. yeah.. | | |
| I'm tired of school
tests
senior papers
hard decisions concerning college
not having a car due to a wreck
stress
homework every night
life
divorce
getting shafted in church league basketball
working every night & weekend
never getting to sleep in anymore
harldy ever seeing my dad
projects
seeing my mom hurt & exhausted
seeing other people get blessed all the time but not us
not being able to afford my #1 college
stupid financial aid & our lack of it
staying up late at night with my mom filling out college crap
how expensive college is
not being able to hang out w/ my brothers every night
hearing criticism from people who have no idea what they are talking about
people who don't understand the concept of working for everything & not being able to attend a church event/youth group.. basically, I'm so exhausted & stressed out..
God help me. | | |
| K, soo... Last night, some people in our youth group went to a Christian concert in Charlotte called Winter Jam. It was pretty awesome, even though we only got to see two bands cuz we had to leave at 8:30..we ended up seeing Newsongs & Hawk Nelson. Newsongs was okay, I'm just not too familiar with their music, but I really liked Hawk Nelson..even though I'm not a huge fan..there was this one song.."Everything You Ever Wanted" it really touched my heart, and almost put me in tears. Before they played it, the lead singer came out & said it was about divorce, and even before he started saying anything I felt God tugging at my heart. Divorce is something thats impacted my life like crazy. But it seems like the whole concept is becoming less and less important to church & to people in general. You hear the facts..50% of all marriages end in divorce which is awful, idk..my parents divorced 7 years ago & my life has been changed ever since..but I've struggled with it like you don't even know, I still have some anger to my dad, I'm not going to lie..but God has taken away most of it..it just hurts sometimes, you know. But I really think God has tugged on my heart to share what I've been through & how God has been incredible to me, my mom, & my brothers..I just really want to start up a class later on for teenagers, especially guys who are in highschool/college age just on how to deal with it, and the importance of relying on God, & just to surround yourself with Godly friends cuz thats so important & it helps so much. Back to the story, the lead singer said it was about the divorce of his parents, with his dad leaving his family & him being a teenager feeling like everything went downhill. He lost his role model, his best friend, the person who taught him to shoot hoops, the guy he could talk to about girls, etc. He also said that anger is such an easy option & even though you have the absolute right to be mad..that God can fix that, <b>he</b> can help you forgive. It was just wow..the song touched me, I just thank God for speaking on the hearts on these guys to write this song. Cuz I honestly believe it was a reminder of hope from God. Anyways, back to life.. I still haven't decided on the college plans next year..I have only heard about financial aid from Gardner-Webb University, so I am waiting to hear back from the other schools, I am seriously considering UNC-C, even attending there a couple years and transferring over to another school later, idk I just want to do what God wants me to go..but right now, I have no idea & its driving me up the walll! like ahhh yeah..but school has been going alright I suppose, the senioritis is kicking in..I just want summer for a year and I'll be fine!!
On a lighter note, UNC is in the Sweet 16 : )! I love college basketball, and I honestly have watched like hours upon hours of the NCAA Tournament And our youth basketball team which consists of the guys in our youth group. I love it, and we are actually not too bad..(3-1), but I love it cuz it gives me a time to hang out with the guys & have a chance to play a game that I love, and our adult league just started up, we lost our first game but it still pretty cool. It gives me a chance to hang out with the some of the earlier guys, & even learn some things about life from them. Cuz yeah, I'm realizing that I am more clueless about life than what I thought! haha Well God Bless. | | |
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